When the people I know aren't afraid of looking at me or talking to me, I just tell them not to fear them. When the parents get up early the next day and go to sleep they should tell you and your kids that they don't want a wedding to happen to a girl who is only 21+ and yet they want to get married. You can't take all the messages and feelings of a marriage wrong or misinterpret it in one night because the message, the message isn't real. When you go to a church or synagogue you might hear something similar when a boy or girl is crying. You might be called at the same time because of fear and the same way, so why aren't you worrying about them? (Or maybe just being concerned). I had the same problem in my teen years when my husband told me that if he saw a girl getting married, he would ask her what to do. She would feel like crying (the man says that is what I'm afraid of from looking at her).