I am free from passions which destroy me! I only want to love my mother, and to do all I can to have a beautiful mother, and a virtuous and kind mother!. I have lost all sense of myself in this world. I am so much better than I was when I was in love! My love is more than mine - my love is the only quality with all men and women! And all my love is something new - an unknown quality, a matter of a strange and new life. It will come to me, at the hands of God, to have the knowledge of men, of mankind, of history, and to have his ideas, opinions and conclusions. It will come to me to know that God will have me, my own love and the true love of God. I find that the world has only ever deceived me.