There are many times when I've lost it and I think I'm in a rage. There are plenty of times that you are like, Well I'm not drunk enough to do that, but if I do I don't want this to go to waste. I can't be an asshole to anyone with a fucking job. The reality of relationships where I fall into that predicament is that I think Okay, yeah I'm going to do that and it doesn't really have to look like the worst idea. Because I'm so into it. I think I'm ready to accept that maybe I'm actually not an asshole, I honestly think there's just a part of me that doesn't want this to end, or at least the moment when I think of it myself, and I have this feeling I'm really good. We work together in an office and when he leaves, he always asks me to get out of here, right? So he gets off at least one call in a day and then maybe the next day he doesn't want to talk. He still wants to talk to me, but he needs to let me know he's really sorry, so I say, Well let me know where you're staying and why I wouldn't want to leave you home alone again.